Somewhere along the way....

Wow, has it really been over 6 months since I've written anything.  I must say I am in awe of the people who do this daily or heck even weekly.  Where do you people find the time and inspiration to keep it up?!?!?!  

Anyway, my whole purpose of this blog was to record my journey on finding the person God has created and figure out where I lost her on the way here.  God did not make me to abuse my body and treat it with disrespect.  I'm working on changing that but let's face it.  I live in a small town in Iowa in a community where change is very difficult to do and accept.  This requires me trying to change the way of thinking that has been inbred in me.  Its all I know.  Now its time to fix it because lets face it, it is a flawed way of thinking.

I strive to live a healthy life.  I want to get off alot of my medications and just feel better about myself.  I have done little in the last few months to give me any reason to be proud of myself.  That is until the last few weeks.  I came down with nasty sinus infections this winter which pretty much put a stop to my regular exercise.  After that came the busyness of work, taking care of a home, and a mother.  These are not excuses, but just reasons.  Well enough was enough.  I still had some sessions left with my personal trainer and it was time to get back into it.  I tell you no lies when I say it was harder to get started this time then it was when I started this whole adventure in general.

So I am back working out, doing exercises that leave my legs very stiff and soar and almost needing my mom to put my shoes on.  But I do feel better.  Am I as disciplined as I was??  Not even close but God is faithful and He hasn't left me and has put people in my life that are a constant encouragement.  Just this week, I had just finished working out with my trainer and was on the verge of total colapse and pretty sure I was going to die soon, when this older gentleman at the gym, he must have been 60 or close and probably was in better shape then I have ever been, says to me "You keep working out.  You are such an inspiration to see you working so hard.  It makes me want to."  At which my trainer says "She really is an inspiration.  She works so hard."  It almost brought tears to my eyes.  Between that and my manager has been so awesome about pushing me and encouraging me with this that I just can't give up.  Not to mention that now my sister is on board and really trying to be healthier.  

So the battle is on again and some days I tire of it but it is my life and a life that God has brought me to for my own good.  It is His way of helping me battle for my freedom of the chains that hold me in bondage.