I know. It's been awhile. I suppose you could say I fell off the wagon. I know that's a term used for addictions but food is an addiction as well. I get so jealous of those people that can eat the entire kitchen yet look like a stick, while I even think about a cookie and I gain like 5 lbs. NOT FAIR!!!!
It is a constant struggle to stay on track. And if I'm honest, there are times I don't even want to stay on track. It's so exhausting and with everything else I have to be responsible for, it often takes a back seat.
But that isn't a good thing. Taking care of myself should be right at the top of the list. Yet sometimes I feel like it just doesn't matter. Why should I care about myself? Why should I be so selfish? Because I never care about myself and I'm never selfish. I am a giver. I never want someone else to feel the way I grew up feeling. That no one cared and that I could drop off the face of the earth and no one would noticed. Yes I even tried to make that a reality.
Here is the thing. It's not about everyone else. It's about me and how I see myself. Other people see value in me, but I have a VERY hard time seeing it. I'm nothing special. I'm just plain old Kimmy. Loyal, loving, giving, hard working, reliable. Hokie petes, I'm a dog. Kidding.
So here I am, picking myself up, starting again. It will never be easy. I know that. I will just keep plugging away.
Update on my progress. 22 lbs down. And my body still isn't happy about all the exercise I put it through or the limited amounts of food. It might as well get used to it. It's going to be a normal thing for awhile.
